Lonliness

Now it is Loneliness who comes at night
Instead of Sleep, to sit beside my bed.
Like a tired child I lie and wait her tread,
I watch her softly blowing out the light.
Motionless sitting, neither left or right
She turns, and weary, weary droops her head.
She, too, is old; she, too, has fought the fight.
So, with the laurel she is garlanded.

http://zoomview.blogspot.com/2009/03/lonliness.html

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Notebook…when i cried

Notebook by Nicholas Sparks

It will tear a hole in my heart… I will cry. These were the warnings. Hole in my heart!!! That would be the biggest news for all my friends from school, college and all those who knew me.
I had doubts, when my friend suggested this book saying that if I write a story about my life it would be something similar. We had a bet. Now who won? Well that’s the story.

A copy for me was sent across oceans. Last lazy Sunday afternoon, I started reading this story of two people who were destined to be together till eternity. This was one of the most poignant and compelling stories I have ever read.

Like a symphony from the master, the story develops and casts an irresistible spell.

Two teenagers from opposite sides of the tracks fall in love. Spending one idyllic summer together in the small town of New Bern, Noah Calhoun and Allie Nelson do not meet again for 14 years. Noah has returned from WWII to restore the house of his dreams, having inherited a large sum of money. Allie was engaged to powerful attorney Lon Hammond, who she cared a lot. Lon was also a nice man who loved Allie deeply. When she reads a newspaper story about Noah’s restoration project, she shows up on his porch step, re-entering his life for two days. Will Allie choose Lon or Noah? Who are the two old people? Read and discover.

I can spill the beans here but I will not. By the time I finished I could find my cheeks wet and I knew that I had lost the bet. I was planning to read this book while traveling on Sunday during my 10 hour journey. Due to some critical work at office I slept very late on Saturday (or Sunday morning) and so it saved me from some blushes in a public place.  It is a one night read story. The language is simple with no complex twists or sub-plots. It is the simplicity which I liked the most. It will evoke so many different emotions as you continue to read. It is worth reading.

Now why would somebody have a bet with me? This story goes back almost a decade. (I have just started writing. I don’t know the climax. Even I am not sure whether anybody will publish it or not but maybe after another decade it may be the best seller:) , might be another notebook or wings of fire). It was a debate where young teenagers like me were airing their views on love in digital age. When my turn came I narrated a story almost similar. I lost narrowly (got the second place). But I believed every word I said. It was possible to keep the mind and body pure for one. It is difficult but not impossible.

Notebook also portrays the purity, simplicity and truthfulness. For being happy you don’t need enormous wealth. It is the few other wonders like books, music and such small things which are more precious. This is a story, which almost everybody wants in their life, but is afraid to work for it, ask for it.

So friends get a copy for yourself, you will read it again.

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My Confessions – Sorry Friend

I’m sorry for hurting you,
I’m sorry for making you cry,
I’m sorry i didn’t realize why I didn’t sleep for days,
Now I know because I hurt you.

I must be a fool,
To have hurt my friend, who has been nothing but kind!
I only wanted the best for you, within your life;
I thought I had the solution,
But it seems that I was wrong.

I never meant to make you feel, like I’ve cut you with a knife!
It was my mistake,
I opened up completely to you,
Something I NEVER, EVER do again to anyone!

I never thought that the DEVIL, could possibly win!
I had kept him at bay for quarter of century, I thought I won
But alas!!! I lost the battle of life.
I was carried over by his worldly charm

Now a “TRUE” friend, I have really lost!?
I will never see you again,
Lest, my eyes betray me again
I have closed my eyes forever.
May be it is better to be blind.

God, I have broken my promise,
I had promised,
That I would never hurt anyone
Even if I am hurt, injured or dead

But my Magical Angel I promise,
I will never hurt anyone again
I will never do the silly thing I did to you
I will never, never, never.

When I look back, I don’t know where I erred
When I look around, I see people with more sins happy.
But I can’t live with my soul tainted
Forgive me, I have sinned.

I am an illusion, fading away
A broken twig, swaying in the wind,
A chariot with a broken wheel
You deserve a better place.

I have prayed for you
I have asked, God
to give you my share of happiness, if any
to give me your share of sorrows and worries
I have prayed for victory against devil.

– Abhi

(I know this doesn’t sounds great may be like someone playing Elvis on a broken guitar, There is 5 more confessions to my dad, mom, sister, God and at last to myself, yes it’s an epic, another new year resolution)

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Chasing Liberty: The Freedom of Love

I will recommend this movie (Chasing Liberty) to anybody. Today I was supposed to go to my usual music practice. Today morning before jumping out with my guitar, I thought I will spend half an hour in front of TV and watch some thing, Bingo!!! I saw this. Forget about the music class, I sat there watching the movie without a break.

This is such cute & wonderful movie. This is a unique, one-of-a-kind feel good movie.
Mandy Moore again astonishes me with her flawless acting. She’s irresistible. I don’t believe in miracles certainly not in love. But I would admit that this has again brought me back to the level of normal human being. I thought I was a robot. It gave a break from the mechanic, well scheduled life of mine. I would rate “Walk to remember” more than “Chasing liberty” but then this is worth watching couple of times. It is a collector’s item even if you are not a fan of Mandy Moore.

After all love is worth the freedom, the freedom to express, the freedom to decide and of course the freedom to love.

Watch this movie whenever you can especially when you feel bored with the life running along & with the clock. It might not improve your life but can certainly bring a good smile on your lips and in your heart.

Plot
Anna Foster (Mandy Moore) has never had an ordinary life. At eighteen years old, she is the most protected girl in America; she is the First Daughter. Frustrated with her overprotective father, the President of the United States of America (Mark Harmon), Anna makes a deal with him: only two agents are allowed to guard her while she attends a concert in Prague. When her father backs out of his promise, Anna flies into a temper and goes on the run with Ben Calder (Matthew Goode), a handsome photographer she runs into outside of the music club. They travel together with the intention of going to the Love Parade in Berlin. Anna hasn’t told Ben who she is but more importantly, Ben hasn’t told her who he is. Under the orders of Anna’s father, Ben is supposed to keep an eye on the rebellious girl but falling in love with her wasn’t something he expected to do. Romance blossoms between the wild, sassy Anna and the cool, distant Ben as they backpack through Europe.

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A night for exploring the meaning of Love

It’s another boring and dead weekend. I could understand the real meaning of shaans song.
tanha dil, tanha safar
dhunde tujhe phir kyun nazar
aankhon mein sapne liye
ghar se hum chal toh diye
jaane yeh raahe abb le jaayengi kahaan
mitti ki khushbu aaye
palkon pe aansu laaye
palkon pe reh jaayega yaadon ka jahaan
manjil nayi hain
anjaana hai kaarava
chalna akele hai yahaan

Shirlz adviced me spend some time with sis. Unfortunately she also not here. Shirlz really another original masterpiece (or malfunctioning). She keeps on giving me all those advice. Poor girl she got stuck with her java certifications.

But thanks to Kush I got something to think about other than the codes this weekend. Well I saw a walk to remember. Saw it on Saturday morning 12:30 am. Next two hours I was in a dream world. I felt I was a character in the film. I don’t know how & why I liked this film so much. May be I was watching one after so long or may be I was watching, understanding the tender bond of love with the protagonists. I would recommend it to anybody. Sandy also wanted the CD. If I am not late tomorrow I will give her.

I can’t explain the voyage, I took for that two hours. I would describe that as a voyage of high emotions. The pure love touched my heart. I asked myself whether I would be able to do something similar. Hmmmmmm I should be able to do that if required. Living for one love and dying for one love wow so great. So romantic, so sweet but too strong. We need the mental courage and strong willpower to do so. Nobody can decide on this it has to happen automatically. We need a pure heart to appreciate that. Why society is against this most of times I don’t know. I simply can’t understand. Maybe they are trying to guard against all the new generation one minute love. Now days you find the use and throw system of love. You break with one and the next moment you are with another or may be it’s already in shifts. Most of them are pure fantasies. The pure love is becoming a rare breed almost on extinction. Love should be feeling like the warm air around us giving us life. We can feel it but cannot touch it. Love never demands anything just empowers us to bring the best in us. I believe it should happen only once in a lifetime. Quoting Landon from A walk to remember “Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful.”

The full version from Bible I Corinthians 13:4-7, TLB.
“Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous, love is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offense, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end.”

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A Walk to Remember …the miracle of love

As usual it was an ordinary day. I wanted a break from the daily schedule. I made plans to do a jungle safari. Not to Africa somewhere in forests of Wayanad or idukki. Was excited about the trip but nobody volunteered to come with me

I can’t say nobody Kush said he will join me wherever I go at last I am not alone at least one person 🙂 there for me.
I should have said a lot of things to few people but then the clouds of indecision still hanging over my head.

But that was not the highlight. Went to kushy’s place. We had Ghee roast dosa together. Talked about our future. He was ready to kill me. He complains that I am not a human with normal feelings. In fact I don’t have any feelings!!! Well certainly not

He suggested that I watch “A Walk to Remember”. He even transferred few soundtracks from his mobile.

The review of the movie left me in tears. Can this happen in real life or is this only in reel life. Don’t know. Can anyone love like this? May be this still happens in this world. A love which uplifts you, envelopes you with the happiness and empowers you even when you know that it’s going to end soon. Well that what i say To love when it can be lost….
Plot (from wikipedia)

When a prank on a fellow high-school student goes wrong, popular but rebellious Landon Carter (Shane West) is threatened with expulsion. His punishment is mandatory participation in various after-school activities, such as tutoring disadvantaged children and performing in the drama club’s spring musical. At these functions he is forced to interact with quiet, bookish Jamie Sullivan (Mandy Moore), a girl he has known for many years but with whom he has rarely ever spoken. Their differing social statures leave them worlds apart, despite their close physical proximity.

When Landon has trouble learning his lines, he asks Jamie for help. She agrees to help him if he promises not to fall in love with her. Landon laughs off the strange remark, believing Jamie to be the last person with whom he would ever fall in love. After all, Landon has access to the prettiest and most popular girls in town; and between her shy demeanor and old-fashioned wardrobe, Jamie doesn’t exactly fall into that category.

Landon and Jamie begin practicing together at her house after school. The two form a tentative friendship, and Landon learns that Jamie has a wish list of all the things she hopes to do in her life, such as getting a tattoo and being in two places at once. One day, Jamie approaches Landon at his locker, where he is hanging out with some of his friends. When Jamie asks Landon if they are still on for practice that afternoon he smirks “In your dreams”. His friends laugh and Landon’s smirk falters as Jamie’s face fills with betrayal and embarrassment. That afternoon Landon arrives at Jamie’s house, hoping that Jamie will still agree to help him. But she refuses to open the door. When she eventually does, she sarcastically remarks that they can be “secret friends”. She slams the door in his face when he agrees. Landon eventually learns the script by himself.

During the play, Jamie astounds Landon and the entire audience with her beauty and voice. Landon kisses Jamie during the play, which was not in the script, and Landon tries to get close to Jamie, but she repeatedly rejects him. It is only after a mean joke played on Jamie by Landon’s friends that Jamie agrees to get to know Landon, and the two pursue a relationship. He takes her out to dinner and dances with her, something he never did for anyone else. When he discovers that Jamie has a wish list, he sets out to help her accomplish them. One memorable date had Landon taking Jamie to the state line. He excitedly positions her on the line in just the right way, and when Jamie asks him what he’s doing he tells her “You’re in two places at once”. Her face lights up with joy, as she realizes that Landon set out to make her impossible dreams come true.

Jamie finally tells Landon that she has terminal leukemia and has stopped responding to treatments. As Jamie is hospitalized, Landon fulfills various wishes on Jamie’s list, such as building her a telescope so she can see a comet. Through this process, Landon and Jamie learn more about the nature of love. The movie ends with Jamie’s death, but only after the couple are married in the same chapel as was Jamie’s deceased mother, the event that topped Jamie’s wish list. Landon himself becomes a better person through Jamie’s memory, achieving the goals that he set out to do, like she did.

Four years later, Landon visits Jamie’s father. It is obvious that Jamie helped him to focus and become a better person. For example, he reveals he has finished college and been accepted to medical school; prior to meeting her he had no plans for life after high school. He tells Jamie’s father that he is sorry he could not grant Jamie’s wish to witness “a miracle” before she died. Her father says “She did. It was you”.

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