The reason I would die for

It started as a dream,
a dream which kept me alive,
I wandered though the miseries of life,
in pursuit of happiness,
in search of you…

You are my unfulfilled prophesy,
you are all  what I had, what I cared for
the reason to live for…
the reason to die for.

Words are caught in my own breath,
drowned in my own feelings,
you keep me floating,
the longing to be together keeps me going.
http://zoomview.blogspot.com/2009/08/reason-i-would-die-for.html

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Lonliness

Now it is Loneliness who comes at night
Instead of Sleep, to sit beside my bed.
Like a tired child I lie and wait her tread,
I watch her softly blowing out the light.
Motionless sitting, neither left or right
She turns, and weary, weary droops her head.
She, too, is old; she, too, has fought the fight.
So, with the laurel she is garlanded.

http://zoomview.blogspot.com/2009/03/lonliness.html

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My last smile

The sky was dark, stars were fading
streets were empty,
lamps were dim

Orion was slain again
Wounded Sagittarius was lost in deep forest
Down below Leo was breathing his last.

A thunder was brewing up in the sky,
the sea was stirring,
the volcanoes fuming

The southern wind swirled over me,
trying to say something
It brought me muffled voices, broken words

Tinctured breeze played the eternal note of sadness
I walked, North Star guiding me,
Southern wind leading me.

Familiar faces, friends, colleagues, relatives
They have grown old, so fast
Prayer, worry & fear were in their eyes.

Between them lay, a human form
Aged and motionless,
with scars of a lonely sailor at rough sea.

Air, Water, Earth, Fire & Sky stood still
Sea and volcanoes stood in abyss
Nobody moved, nothing stirred

Like a lightening it came,
the last flash of life, the smile on his face
a smile full of life, love & hope.

It was a familiar smile
Alas. I recognized it
It was my smile

Yes the smile!!! Once forgotten smile,
the smile of love…the smile of hope
But for whom did I smile last???

The last smile was for thee
The last cry was for thee
I was born for thee

Thou was my destiny,
thou was my salvation
Now I’m dying for thee

Death came riding the tide
swept away the last sign of life
but the smile remained ,
the last smile to grave,
the last smile for thee…

—Abhilash

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How Do I Love Thee?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints.  I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life;  and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

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Eyes tell, tell me, what you tell me,

A lot of meaning in this line from Goethe ,spiritual & otherwise, i thought i will share this, immerse youself in the beauty of these lines

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April

Eyes tell, tell me, what you tell me,

telling something all too sweet,

making music out of beauty,

with a question hidden deep.

Still I think I know your meaning,

there behind your pupils’ brightness,

love and truth are your heart’s lightness,

that, instead of its own gleaming,

would so truly like to greet,

in a world of dullness, blindness,

one true look of human kindness,

where two kindred spirits meet.

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When you smile

You run away when you see me
leaving more questions than answers
I would run to you but I am stuck
Like an idiot, I wonder
Like a fool, I act

With your smile,
It’s amazing how you light up my lonely soul
Scattering the beauty of pure joy, around me
The sudden rise and slow relapse of your brows
little dimples, long eyelashes…

Oh dear, your sweet smile makes me light
I was drown in your brown eyes
lost in your beautiful hair,
whelmed by the beauty of your dimples.

When you smile, my voice chokes
Body shivers, my mind stops
Every night I can’t sleep
I keep thinking of your smile.
I was waiting so long for you

I was woken from the deep sleep
Half asleep, half awake.
I wondered at my good luck
I have seen it
With a terrible joy, I realized
Deep within from my soul, so pure and beautiful
I have seen the divinity smile

They say you are an angel
Pure and fair
Quite and shy
Warm and happy

I sang in my wilderness
In praise of the divine creation
O-reckless free heart, I sang the song of my life.
Your smile liberated me from my misery

Oh mother nature,
You have shown me your divine form
Which I longed to see before I came back to you.
I prayed, I waited and now I have seen you,
a form to worship in this formless world,
a soul to worship in this soulless world.

In your sparkling smile the world grows
a new world, a new transformation.
In a smile more beautiful than the morning sun,
more sweet than the purest honey,
more pure than the mist,
more gentle than the wind in summer.

I am happy
I am content
I am at peace
Because I have seen you smile……

Mother, I can come back to you
Because I have seen your divine form….

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My Confessions – Sorry Friend

I’m sorry for hurting you,
I’m sorry for making you cry,
I’m sorry i didn’t realize why I didn’t sleep for days,
Now I know because I hurt you.

I must be a fool,
To have hurt my friend, who has been nothing but kind!
I only wanted the best for you, within your life;
I thought I had the solution,
But it seems that I was wrong.

I never meant to make you feel, like I’ve cut you with a knife!
It was my mistake,
I opened up completely to you,
Something I NEVER, EVER do again to anyone!

I never thought that the DEVIL, could possibly win!
I had kept him at bay for quarter of century, I thought I won
But alas!!! I lost the battle of life.
I was carried over by his worldly charm

Now a “TRUE” friend, I have really lost!?
I will never see you again,
Lest, my eyes betray me again
I have closed my eyes forever.
May be it is better to be blind.

God, I have broken my promise,
I had promised,
That I would never hurt anyone
Even if I am hurt, injured or dead

But my Magical Angel I promise,
I will never hurt anyone again
I will never do the silly thing I did to you
I will never, never, never.

When I look back, I don’t know where I erred
When I look around, I see people with more sins happy.
But I can’t live with my soul tainted
Forgive me, I have sinned.

I am an illusion, fading away
A broken twig, swaying in the wind,
A chariot with a broken wheel
You deserve a better place.

I have prayed for you
I have asked, God
to give you my share of happiness, if any
to give me your share of sorrows and worries
I have prayed for victory against devil.

– Abhi

(I know this doesn’t sounds great may be like someone playing Elvis on a broken guitar, There is 5 more confessions to my dad, mom, sister, God and at last to myself, yes it’s an epic, another new year resolution)

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