International Women’ds Day (IWD); can you help ?

 

It started almost 100 years ago in 1911 a day to celebrate womanhood. This year’s theme is “Equal access to education, training and science and technology: Pathway to decent work for women”. How true. May all of us have equal access to quality education.

 

Many of us even don’t know why such a day was started also. If I take a newspaper I get an impression that it is a mini valentine day for the people who missed the previous month’s date. Certainly this is much bigger than the impression we get through our Media.

Nothing much to write about today but I would like to hear more about the last two posts I wrote.

• http://zoomview.blogspot.com/2011/02/women-and-insensitive-indian-society.html
• http://zoomview.blogspot.com/2011/03/women-and-insensitive-indian-society-ii.html

 It will really help us spread the correct message (already I got many but we need more participation). We already got a small group to spread this awareness but I need few more volunteers. Anyone interested?

 

 

 

 

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Women and an insensitive Indian society (II) – the reason

Thanks for all those wonderful feedback (mostly I got in email).

Almost all the e-mails mentioned about awareness and educating the people. But in a typical traditional Indian family where is the chance for such awareness? Which family gives priority to such ideals? We prefer high grades in exams but what about the awareness and sensitivity towards other lives around us? Which is the right place for such awareness? Is home the best place or at school? Schools will be more interested in securing prizes in so called cultural meets and reality shows but it’s very rare that I heard about any such cultural education being given to the younger generation.

In my own family I have seen this discrimination & this should be a very common sight in most of the families. Even when a girl child is in mother’s womb the so called rules and regulations are created in the family. She can’t do this she can’t do that. It is against our tradition. No women in our family did that …… the list goes on. I can even compile a book bigger than the encyclopedias with such don’t do list.

A lot of ladies talk about liberation, equality etc. but do they practice this? I believe if a change has to happen around us, first of all we have to change. There is no meaning in complaining about the inequalities in society if we ourselves don’t act on the principles we are preaching. There are many instances when I argued with my mom when she tried to enforce such rules on my sister. It’s anyone guess who won the argument. I lost heavily. There was no constraint on the education, love or any such things in our family among us children. Even my sister got a lot of freedom which is rarely available to other girl child in our society. I appreciate my mom and dad for that. But was she free to do all the things I was allowed to do? Certainly my sister cannot complain but there was this slight difference. She had a second grooming in cooking and other such other small household jobs. This is certainly good but soon it became her duty to do such things and I was never asked to do any such thing. Even when I volunteered, many times I was asked to do something suitable for boys; cooking and other such house hold jobs were for womenfolk. No one complained when I did cooking, washing and other such household jobs. But such occasions were very rare.

I was very fortunate that I didn’t see much discrimination in my family. But this is not the case in most of the other families. Girls are not allowed to study, they are not allowed to go out or mingle with others. In many parts of our country girls are kept like animals. They don’t have proper food, clothes, education. They are not even allowed to dream. Even when such basic things amenities are given she is under tremendous pressure. With 24×7 monitoring by family I don’t think most of them would even get a chance to breathe freely. With such pressure many don’t express their likes and dislikes. They are merely the puppets in the hands of their “strict” family. On many occasions when I went for campus recruitment I have observed this trait among the young engineers. In my professional and personal life also I have seen many who fear expressing their likes and dislikes. With a heavy baggage of the big don’t do list we cannot expect them to fight the discrimination. They are always at disadvantage. From this perspective, men think that women are weak. They can do whatever they like and they are just another instrument to satisfy their wishes. I cannot complain because no one told them otherwise. From childhood they are fed this notion that they are superior and women are second class citizens with no voice to protest, complain or express their likes and dislikes.

 We can find the equality in almost all spheres of our life. If we look in our modern families we will see many working super moms who manage the office work and house. How many men help them in their daily “jobs”? In a family the onus should be on both. Men should also take equal responsibility is raising children and doing other household jobs. Last time when I had a discussion about this among my cousins I got support only from one of my brothers. Few days ago a very prominent figure in Indian society said that women should only do the things allowed by our culture. They have to first take care of the children and house. True, I agree but what about the menfolk don’t they have any culture or dharma? When men stay late in parties drinking alcohol they are called sophisticated and when women do such things they are called immoral!!!! (Personally I don’t drink or smoke so usually I don’t get invitations for such parties but still I cannot stop comparing the different perspective.). There are many such examples. Such notions of using different yardstick for same actions should be eliminated from our minds. 

The attitude and approach of a gentleman who has seen equality at his home will be far different. If the parents teach with action that boy and girl has equal rights and should respect each other’s decisions, wishes then the world will be different place to live altogether. Many men are initially shocked when they see women expressing them. In their family they never experienced this. So they take shelter in old Indian culture (but I wonder do they really know the meaning of culture.) and insult women with their words and actions.

 This is a request to all those young mother s please burn that old “don’t do list”. Treat your children equally. If you deny something to a girl child, justify and use the same logic in case of your son. If your son can do it surely your daughter can also do it. From the very first day teach the principles of respect, equality and love to all others without any discrimination.
http://zoomview.blogspot.com/2011/03/women-and-insensitive-indian-society-ii.html

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The dilemma of bachelorhood – II – Marriage

Can marriage be the silver bullet for the many problems of bachelorhood? Marriage is an institution. It is a special bond created between two individuals, two souls joined together for eternity. It is said that matches are made in heaven and the knots are tied on earth. (Well that would be cool 😀 , the biggest matrimonial site running on high end servers in heaven. Looking at the divorce rate, whoever managing that would be having a very tough time now. I am sure his appraisal would have gone down terribly bad in last few years)

Confucious had a wonderful definition “Marriage is the union of two different surnames, in friendship and in love, in order to continue the posterity of the former sages, and to furnish those who shall preside at the sacrifices to heaven and earth, at those in the ancestral temple, and at those at the altars to the spirits of the land and grain “

The history of Marriage goes even beyond the ancient times even before the first history chapter was recorded. Even during the time when the Human race was evolving from the primates we can find the natural evidence of first marriages. (There was no part, church, temple or feast). The marriage arose from the primeval needs of human species. It legalized the access to women so as to reduce the competition within the clan. Over a period of time, the beliefs,   the principles, the customs and rituals associated with the marriage has evolved. In ancient times no specific ceremony was required. Only the mutual consent of the people getting married was required. It was simple. But soon it became the most complex of all. There was no middle men or religion involved. It was a promise a trust between two individuals.

In many societies it soon became a business/political or economic arrangement. The consent of two people, love or affection was not considered. Marriage became a tool to expand the pride & power of man. The freedom which women got was curbed. It was soon replaced with a false sense of pride & accomplishments. In some places people had to pay marriage tax to marry the person they like.  If we turn back our history book, we can find many instances when helpless women had to marry against her wish for the pride of her family, to protect her kingdom from the more powerful kings. Some even didn’t get this respect. Many had to live as concubines of the powerful. Some society practices polygamy. But I feel this is against the basic nature of human race. I don’t remember where but I had read in some scientific article that a person can live peacefully, take care of the emotional & physical need of only one person.

Around 1700 the process of process of registering the marriage was introduced in Europe. Rest of the world soon followed suit.

In the modern society marriage is foundation on which our culture & civilization stands. Marriages are formed to reproduce (not always). It is the evolution of next generation from the parent, the passing of the genes to the next generation. It is the cradle of wisdom and love in which the children acquires the skills to live a successful life ahead. (it is unfortunate that there are millions of children on streets or even in many homes who haven’t seen the power of love or family). All the religions give high importance to marriage & consider this as a sacred union of the two souls & God.

There are some bad customs/practices like dowry, child marriage, polygamy still associated with it. Our education teaches us how to create spacecraft, to become a doctor or engineer but it doesn’t teach us to live in family, on how to spread love & happiness or to react against these evil customs. Throughout we can see the erosion of the core values like mutual respect, individualism, sincerity, affection from this sacred bond.

http://zoomview.blogspot.com/2009/12/dilemma-of-bachelorhood-i-marriage.html

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